"A full-pound burger patty covered in cheese. Grilled onions, five strips of bacon, all sandwiched between--"
"Two donuts!"
"Two Krispy Kreme donuts."
--The Boondocks, Season 1, Episode 10, "The Itis."
Now.
Pretend you were in the cafeteria at work.
And pretend that you saw someone unwrap one of these for lunch. He takes it out of the fridge, microwaves it, and unwraps it from its paper, and puts it in his mouth. Intentionally. Except he has gone one step further: he has sliced the donuts, and has placed a slice of American cheese in the middle. So each of these donuts are, themselves, a grilled cheese sandwich.
I tried to do the math. Looked up the nutritional information for donuts and Kraft singles and bacon and stuff. I stopped counting at one hundred grams of saturated fat. Note that's saturated fat alone. That's not even counting all the sodium and the unsaturated fat and cholesterol and whatnot. If you took a big fistful of lard, just all you could scoop in one hand, and ate it, it would be more healthy than this sandwich.
And you know what? You want to know the worst part?
He's our cardiologist.
I'm not going to say that this would never happen outside of Gotham. I'm sure it does all the time. But doesn't that say a lot about the city? Doesn't that say everything that needs saying? "Welcome to Gotham! You can buy a judge on craigslist and get a double bypass from a guy who needs a quadruple! Be sure to check our 'Who's On The Take?' list, updated weekly.Special offer: free bullets for any newcomer, see any alley in the Narrows for details."
Edit: Bad case of the awks there.
"Two donuts!"
"Two Krispy Kreme donuts."
--The Boondocks, Season 1, Episode 10, "The Itis."
Now.
Pretend you were in the cafeteria at work.
And pretend that you saw someone unwrap one of these for lunch. He takes it out of the fridge, microwaves it, and unwraps it from its paper, and puts it in his mouth. Intentionally. Except he has gone one step further: he has sliced the donuts, and has placed a slice of American cheese in the middle. So each of these donuts are, themselves, a grilled cheese sandwich.
I tried to do the math. Looked up the nutritional information for donuts and Kraft singles and bacon and stuff. I stopped counting at one hundred grams of saturated fat. Note that's saturated fat alone. That's not even counting all the sodium and the unsaturated fat and cholesterol and whatnot. If you took a big fistful of lard, just all you could scoop in one hand, and ate it, it would be more healthy than this sandwich.
And you know what? You want to know the worst part?
He's our cardiologist.
I'm not going to say that this would never happen outside of Gotham. I'm sure it does all the time. But doesn't that say a lot about the city? Doesn't that say everything that needs saying? "Welcome to Gotham! You can buy a judge on craigslist and get a double bypass from a guy who needs a quadruple! Be sure to check our 'Who's On The Take?' list, updated weekly.
Edit: Bad case of the awks there.
